Why I have to let go

Hello everyone, Mysty here.

This post is very emotional for me to write. It is hard, but I have to let go.

I have to leave behind all the beliefs I have. All the Deities I love.

Everything needs to go. To start afresh. This includes my spiritual constructs, or I guess what everyone would say is the ‘religious’ side of my practices.

I’ve been thinking about it for a long, long time. A book recently just absolutely hit me hard.

Briana Saussy, and her book, Making Magic: Weaving Together the Everyday and the Extraordinary, has slapped me so hard in the heart that I have to say goodbye to everything I’ve learnt and start again. The spiral continues and needs to be renewed.

Magic isn’t something we learn, it’s something we all have. It can’t be bought or created. It just is.

When we make a magical item we’re gathering magic into the item, from us, from the environment that already existed.

It’s exactly like energy. It can’t be created or destroyed it just is. It exists and that’s all there is to it.

And thats the thing that hit me the most.

There’s a lot of false information out there. A lot of misguidance.

I don’t, and I won’t lead anyone astray who gets any information from me. It isn’t to say that my practices from before are not correct. They are totally fine. But its me, myself, who has changed over time who now, has to deal with changing her spiritual frameworks and letting go of the cage that was around my practices.

The core things that I’ve shared with all of you so far are correct. Things like meditation, spells, Deity work, practices, offerings, candle magick, sigil magick. You name it. If its on here, I’ve made sure that it is from my heart and my soul, and given as a gift to you all.

But this post is talking about my personal journey and beliefs. My Deities so far, have really been a rock and framework for my practices (for the last 6 months), but as I pull back the curtain, they are just energy. Distinct in their own ways, yes, but there’s no real reason for them to be in my practices since what they offer to me is what I already have all along.

I don’t need protecting. Ascended Masters, Higher Selves, Source Energy, personal Spirit Guides and our own energy already do that.

I don’t need help with my rituals. I have heaps of ally’s for that. I have tools, knowledge, spirits (local) experience, expertise, and my own inner magick that I don’t need to have a relationship with a Deity just to do a ritual.

I know and accept that many pagans out there are religious or do honour Deities in a non-religious way (Like I have in the past), but this concept doesn’t necessarily speak to me any more, and I personally need to move on to another construct.

It really is hard letting go, but they’ve been telling me to let go of them for a while now, and I understand why. They want the best for me. They’ve seen my progress and now they want me to develop my practices more as my own and not anyone elses.

This is a start to make a step in a new direction. To challenge myself to see myself and the world around me clearer than before. This is the step towards my authentic self. This is me, telling myself, and all of you, my personal practices are changing, but my core values are not.

Throughout my practices since I was 14 years old I would read read and read some more. Soaking up everything. I really wish I picked up this book back then. So I could have saved myself the hassle of going through being a wiccan, non-wiccan, pagan witch, then to now, just a magical practitioner.

Feels like the label of a witch for me isn’t even applicable anymore. Or being I guess, what people would call, a religious pagan.

Wow my goodness. I really have changed.

I guess if I could a finger on what my practices are now, it would be called along the lines of ‘Magical Practitioner who can see ghosts and spirits and loves plants.’

I’m just kidding guys.

I love my practice and its personal to me. If you still want to call me a witch and a pagan, go and do so. I don’t mind and hey that’s as close to what I do as you can get. I can’t use the word Shaman, because its been tossed around like a bag of snakes and it just fucking pisses me off that word. I mean, there isn’t an equivalent word for Shaman in english (It’s a word from the mongolian region btw) and if we did have that sort of word, I would be using it. But we don’t so now we’re stuck in this mess. It’s probably just going to be called Spiritual Magic Healer or some shit like that.

I’m also not going to use the word ‘magick’ either, because Crowley, I’m sorry but I just don’t really like the all, Order of the Golden Dawn sort of thing. It’s the basis of Wicca, and I’m not Wiccan so I’m not going to call it ‘magick’. Sorry.

I apologise to readers who might get a shock from all this, but this is the path to my authentic self.

I hope that is post inspires you to look beyond the curtain and find your true self too.

Best Blessings to you all,

Mysty.

5 thoughts on “Why I have to let go

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